We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
