Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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