My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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