Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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