Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Welp...herpes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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