he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize