I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
