they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
