Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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