last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
