Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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