i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
