I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
