I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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