Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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