All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
