you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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