pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.