Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Terrible idea I love it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex