Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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  (937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe
  Replies (31) Good night (5861) Bad night (2117)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...

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  (563): i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this... http://tfl.nu/un0n
  Replies (20) Good night (6483) Bad night (1069)
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  (212): View more from New York

  at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver

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  (212): at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver http://tfl.nu/1ssj
  Replies (10) Good night (2192) Bad night (1202)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.

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  (239): Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America. http://tfl.nu/e8n4
  Replies (3) Good night (1559) Bad night (813)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.

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  (865): Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night. http://tfl.nu/cs1a
  Replies (22) Good night (598) Bad night (2849)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.

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  (810): I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well. http://tfl.nu/a4oz
  Replies (10) Good night (3256) Bad night (630)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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  (952): Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/n35v
  Replies (6) Good night (1092) Bad night (1233)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

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  (412): I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck http://tfl.nu/1t6b
  Replies (16) Good night (820) Bad night (1276)
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  (415): View more from California

  Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.

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  (415): Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/kxjk
  Replies (8) Good night (2287) Bad night (422)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

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  (613): he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents http://tfl.nu/5ltr
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (718)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight

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  (208): God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight http://tfl.nu/fm83
  Replies (7) Good night (1151) Bad night (322)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

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  (413): He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kvnn
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick

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  (770): If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years. (570): Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick http://tfl.nu/xmct
  Replies (7) Good night (567) Bad night (248)
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  (650): View more from California

  Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

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  (650): Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around http://tfl.nu/5sia
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (182)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record

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  (614): I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record http://tfl.nu/iop1
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (258)

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