Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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