you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.