I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.