I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize