Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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  (212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663
  Replies (83) Good night (3543) Bad night (2788)
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  (518): View more from New York

  wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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  (518): wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision http://tfl.nu/37aw
  Replies (11) Good night (5844) Bad night (505)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

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  (541): Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk http://tfl.nu/l5et
  Replies (7) Good night (4323) Bad night (1250)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.

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  (208): Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat. http://tfl.nu/qpwr
  Replies (15) Good night (4341) Bad night (1088)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

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  (717): if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it http://tfl.nu/n58g
  Replies (16) Good night (3451) Bad night (1505)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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  (906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer
  Replies (12) Good night (2674) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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  (443): His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number. http://tfl.nu/j9e9
  Replies (21) Good night (3658) Bad night (630)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

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  (253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc
  Replies (12) Good night (518) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

  (585): View more from New York

  Find him and marry him.

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  (716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn
  Replies (5) Good night (2268) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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  (850): Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids. http://tfl.nu/dauy
  Replies (5) Good night (1230) Bad night (688)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried

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  (540): Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried http://tfl.nu/qg5l
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards

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  (303): These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards http://tfl.nu/9p4c
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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  (952): Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate. http://tfl.nu/tke3
  Replies (5) Good night (747) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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  (570): So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here (1-570): Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment http://tfl.nu/lwx4
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.

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  (630): I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila. http://tfl.nu/fzc9
  Replies (3) Good night (264) Bad night (440)

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