We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar