I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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