He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
