lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
