did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
