there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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