your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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