She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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