I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
