She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
