Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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