I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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