I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
