the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
