why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
