Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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