let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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