I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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