Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

did i?

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(732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum

Replies (33) Good night (7875) Bad night (965)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"

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(613): I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!" http://tfl.nu/plpd

Replies (11) Good night (5527) Bad night (1367)
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(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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(214): someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet http://tfl.nu/kl5a

Replies (23) Good night (3788) Bad night (685)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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(859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94

Replies (6) Good night (2167) Bad night (804)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?

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(301): Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you? http://tfl.nu/njmw

Replies (7) Good night (2432) Bad night (821)
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(904): View more from Florida

Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.

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(904): Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again. http://tfl.nu/hcx3

Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (1816)
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(765): View more from Indiana

so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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(765): so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick http://tfl.nu/orgy

Replies (7) Good night (1106) Bad night (705)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

My bed is full of blood and feathers

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(931): My bed is full of blood and feathers http://tfl.nu/0j2w

Replies (11) Good night (639) Bad night (1475)
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(904): View more from Florida

Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.

(1-904): View more from Florida

I told you to check, dude

(904): View more from Florida

Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.

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(904): Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday. (1-904): I told you to check, dude (904): Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out. http://tfl.nu/ef5z

Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (691)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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(859): No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too. http://tfl.nu/lxn7

Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (547)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over

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(515): Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over http://tfl.nu/s97w

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (490)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.

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(321): I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out. http://tfl.nu/5y00

Replies (4) Good night (1812) Bad night (434)
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(941): View more from Florida

She looks like a beluga.

(954): View more from Florida

I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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(941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (478)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun

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(270): I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun http://tfl.nu/24f6

Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (386)
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(361): View more from Texas

Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!

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(361): Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home! http://tfl.nu/kqv8

Replies (1) Good night (183) Bad night (364)

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