Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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  (443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT http://tfl.nu/f0p2
  Replies (20) Good night (5350) Bad night (1083)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

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  (440): My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol. http://tfl.nu/vdrg
  Replies (14) Good night (4418) Bad night (529)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Don't tempt me, I need beer money.

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  (306): So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob? (1-306): Don't tempt me, I need beer money. http://tfl.nu/pmfd
  Replies (26) Good night (6127) Bad night (968)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.

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  (720): Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly. http://tfl.nu/yfkr
  Replies (7) Good night (3837) Bad night (917)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

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  (913): season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown. http://tfl.nu/f9w7
  Replies (33) Good night (4778) Bad night (1016)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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  (303): She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga. http://tfl.nu/aid2
  Replies (6) Good night (2702) Bad night (707)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3550) Bad night (854)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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  (810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a
  Replies (12) Good night (2441) Bad night (674)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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  (724): She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail. http://tfl.nu/o810
  Replies (13) Good night (716) Bad night (2775)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.

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  (416): Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights. http://tfl.nu/9jzc
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (494)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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  (319): "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits. http://tfl.nu/zmtn
  Replies (12) Good night (526) Bad night (1044)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?

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  (251): Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails? http://tfl.nu/r64b
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (355)
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  (408): View more from California

  Holy high batman

  (408): View more from California

  The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course

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  (408): Holy high batman (408): The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course http://tfl.nu/9imx
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (307)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.

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  (706): But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it. http://tfl.nu/x7s2
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (572)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.

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  (248): My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks. http://tfl.nu/gg52
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (239)

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