I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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