Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

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  (914): Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter http://tfl.nu/3hf7
  Replies (127) Good night (2513) Bad night (3741) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.

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  (540): Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work. http://tfl.nu/ghtv
  Replies (11) Good night (899) Bad night (3912) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  can we take a shower together?

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing

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  (731): can we take a shower together? (901): no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing http://tfl.nu/lc5h
  Replies (55) Good night (7665) Bad night (702)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4538) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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  (850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd
  Replies (19) Good night (5819) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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  (864): I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened. http://tfl.nu/5edl
  Replies (4) Good night (2504) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
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  (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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  (+10): I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays http://tfl.nu/d92q
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (1594) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
  Replies (7) Good night (2286) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.

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  (517): But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/ir44
  Replies (7) Good night (3147) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered

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  (585): Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered http://tfl.nu/ct7k
  Replies (13) Good night (1286) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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  (606): only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/lmd6
  Replies (28) Good night (1765) Bad night (1617) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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  (970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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  (417): Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants http://tfl.nu/tk01
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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  (402): Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge? http://tfl.nu/w4hy
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.

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  (415): Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me. http://tfl.nu/brt4
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (180)

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