Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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  (603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8
  Replies (32) Good night (4079) Bad night (661)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

  (631): View more from New York

  Samesies

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  (610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week. (631): Samesies http://tfl.nu/jurs
  Replies (23) Good night (4871) Bad night (773)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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  (973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h
  Replies (33) Good night (8040) Bad night (1368)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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  (917): she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in http://tfl.nu/g0n5
  Replies (12) Good night (3299) Bad night (1145)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.

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  (803): He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex. http://tfl.nu/kpvm
  Replies (4) Good night (4586) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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  (541): I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples. http://tfl.nu/kf5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3785) Bad night (885)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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  (404): It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated. http://tfl.nu/7ila
  Replies (6) Good night (2935) Bad night (641)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.

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  (417): She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round. http://tfl.nu/klhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1842) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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  (970): Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved. http://tfl.nu/n0se
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

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  (714): Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends. http://tfl.nu/ft9d
  Replies (17) Good night (4385) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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  (708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (563)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk

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  (920): I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk http://tfl.nu/qdf4
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.

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  (607): I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability. http://tfl.nu/69z6
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.

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  (425): On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler. http://tfl.nu/m74v
  Replies (6) Good night (200) Bad night (1084)

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