so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night