Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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(914): View more from New York

i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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(281): View more from Texas

I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16

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(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.

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(408): View more from California

sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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(515): View more from Iowa

as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale

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