bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just gargled with NyQuil
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.