these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
