i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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