all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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