It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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