I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
