I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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