the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
