ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
