at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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