i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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