Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
