and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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