My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
