As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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