Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
