I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
