On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
