So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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