when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
