At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
