He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
