after a month anything with tits is on the radar
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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