ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
