And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
