its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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