He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
