hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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